It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, Get Me Out of Here Now
by FlynnieG
Summary: It's Christmastime in Litwak's arcade and the Core Four has decided to have a big ol' fashioned family Christmas. And it comes with all the struggles that could come with a family this out of the ordinary. Dynamite Baby!
1. Prologue

**A/N: Oh, gosh. I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for the unscheduled hiatus! I never planned for that to happen, a lot of stuff has just been going on and making my life quite hectic. I got put in a new school where the classes are WAY harder than before, so I barely had any free time and to top it off, I got really sick and had been that way for a while, so I had even less time to write. But, now I'm on break, so I'm gonna try and write as much as I can!**

**Disclaimer: Wreck-it Raph is owned by the Disney Company, not me. . .Haven't written this in a while. It's good to be back :)**

* * *

**August 22nd**

"Alright, last game. Everybody out." Mr. Litwak's loud voice echoed through the arcade as the last few gamers looked over at him sadly.

A teenage boy, in the middle of the seventh level of Hero's Duty, tilted his head in a pleading manner and sighed, "Aw, come on, 'Wak. We all gotta go back to school tomorrow. One more game?"

Litwak tussled the boy's hair, "Sorry, little fella. You've all gotta rest up for tomorrow and I need to get home too. See the ol' fam."

The boy shoved the gun back into it's holster, letting the cy-bug he was going to kill, finish him off (which, if he could've seen it, made Sergeant Calhoun extremely irritated).

As Litwak shut off the lights, he turned back to the games, "Nice job, fellas. Have a swell night."

As Litwak drove away, the arcade came to life behind the screens. Almost every character in that arcade let out a loud cheer. Their summer hours were over and it was back to their standard six-hour-day. The soldiers in Hero's Duty were a bit more modest; there wasn't any cheering, it was more just a few high fives amongst friends.

Sergeant Calhoun brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes and sighed, "Well, I'm beat."

"Gee, Sarge, you don't look too well," Kohut said, thrusting his gun and a fellow soldier. "Are you getting enough sleep?"

Calhoun rolled her eyes, "You're not going 'Overprotective Mommy' on me, are you?"

He shrugged, "Just wanna make sure our favorite Sergeant's doing alright," He turned back to the others. "Don't we?"

All of the troopers let out a tired groan of agreement. Calhoun stifled a laugh, "Don't worry ladies, I love you too," She sucked in her cheeks as she watch a group of them spit on the ground. "In a way."

"Attention. The train to Game Central Station will be leaving in five minutes," The monotone voice blared over the loudspeakers.

"That's our cue, boys," Calhoun said, shoving her gun back into place. "Come on, I've got a Fixer to see, and you've all gotta make sure Tapper gets paid today."

Private Green nodded, giving the other soldiers a suggestive smile, "Yeeeah!"

Calhoun rolled her eyes. She didn't need to worry about this baby, she already had 26 of them. And each and every one was skilled in all forms of armed combat.

The tram ride had never seemed longer to the Sergeant. Because of her having to stay after for perimeter checks and Felix having to perform lots of extra, odd jobs for the Nicelanders, she and her beloved handyman had only been able to see each other before bed and in the morning. And sometimes, not even then. Not to mention, having to do all of this extra work, while being four months pregnant was one of the most strenuous things Calhoun had ever done.

Calhoun opened up the door to see her husband at the kitchen table, finishing up one of his pies. He looked over at her and gave her a tired, but warm smile. He pushed his plate away and softly sighed, "Hi, Tammy."

Calhoun didn't say one word. She just wrapped her arms around her husband and slumped down to the floor, exhausted as well. Felix put his head against her chest and listened to her heart beating. Calhoun put a hand against her stomach and whispered, "Did you mark off today yet?"

He gave her a small, excited smile, "Not yet."

Felix got out of her wrapped arms and swiped the calendar from off the wall with the same energy as a puppy would have grabbing a chew toy. He climbed back into her lap and removed the plastic, pen cap. Calhoun wrapped her fingers around his and they both crossed out that day.

Felix moonwalked his fingers across the printed squares on the paper as he counted each day, carefully, but quickly. Eventually, he reach a day that was circled several times. January 15th. It was the day that they were both waiting for, where everything they knew would change. It was exciting and a bit terrifying at the same time.

Calhoun had been counting with her husband and felt her voice almost shiver as she said, "146 days to go."

* * *

**October 30th**

Calhoun was in the middle of reading a passage of her book when she felt someone breathing on her neck. She glanced back and saw Vanellope sitting cross-legged behind her.

Calhoun lightly shut her book, "Can I help you with something?"

"Do you know what day it is?"

"Um. . .Tuesday?" Calhoun responded slowly, enunciating each syllable.

"No. Guess again."

Calhoun rolled her eyes, "I don't know, so please tell me, because I'm just _dying_ to know."

"It is one day before Halloween!" Vanellope sighed loudly, "And you still haven't tried on the costume I made you!"

"Costume?" Calhoun squinched up her face, trying to recall. "Oh, yeah, the thing I swore I'd never wear as long as my code was still active."

"Yes! Good, you remember!" Vanellope crossed her arms, "Soooooooo, when are you gonna try it on?"

"Um, I'll try it on in about," Calhoun looked at the clock on the wall, "never."

Vanellope growled, "You are getting at the end of my rope, Missy!"

Calhoun looked up at her, "Missy?"

Vanellope ignored her, "The big day is tomorrow! My favorite holiday of all time! And it doesn't matter if you don't like your costume, because Halloween is all about dressing up like something else, so you can eat a bunch of candy and get sick for the next few days. That's all the Halloween gods wanted."

"Halloween gods? Where are you getting this from?"

She ignored her again, "Plus, I spent a really really really long time getting our group costume ready. And people won't get it if you're not there!" Vanellope looked over at the disinterested Sergeant, "Look, it's all planned. Ralph's gonna be Donkey Kong, Felix is Mario, I'm a Super Star and you'll be-"

"Oh, save it, kid. I don't wanna hear it," Calhoun said. "You're only saying this stuff to make me go out there, and it won't work!"

"Oh, but I think it will," Vanellope leaned against her. "One way or another, you're going out there."

Calhoun narrowed her eyes and stared deeply into Vanellope's eyes, trying to detect one hint of fear, "Whaddya got?"

Vanellope matched Calhoun's gaze, "If you stay out with me, Ralphie and Felix for four hours and wear your costume, then I'll give you exactly 50 pieces of my candy. Your choice of what kind."

Calhoun crossed her arms, "Two hours, different costume, 100 pieces and then you have a deal."

"Three hours, same costume, 75 pieces," Vanellope thought for a second about her demands, "and I get to cross off today."

"Okay, done." Calhoun shook hands with the racer and took her over to where she had put the marker.

Vanellope clapped her hands excitedly and lifted the calendar off the wall. She took the marker and drew a bold, dark "X" through the middle of the day.

"How many more days are there, Sarge?" Vanellope asked, dusting off her hands and putting the calendar back."

"Well," Calhoun counted quickly in her head. "77."

"Wow, I can't believe how fast this is going," Vanellope said, putting a hand to her cheek. She looked up at the Sergeant, "Can I do it tomorrow too?"

"Don't push your luck, kid."

Vanellope got a smug grin, "Whatever you say, _Princess Peach_."

Calhoun groaned, "Just can't wait for tomorrow. Just can't wait."

* * *

**November 28th**

Calhoun collapsed in a chair, "Oh, sweet, Sister Francis, what a day."

Felix wiped the cooking oil off of his hands using a dish towel, abandoned on the counter, "Yeah, I know, Honey. Thanksgiving is always busy. All the cooking, the cleaning-"

"Not that!" Calhoun groaned. "I mean having to deal with your mother all day. Ugh, lending me her "proper", Christian, baby names pamphlet. Then, insisting that she rewash all the plates, because the dishes looked, how did she put it?"

Felix rubbed his arms, "Sinful?"

"That was it," Calhoun nodded, before leaning back against the chair.

Felix climbed up next to her and leaned against her side, "It's all over now."

"Mm hmm, and guess what?" Calhoun leaned in and whispered excitedly, "48 days left."

Felix smiled, "I can hardly wait."

"What are you two chattin' about?" Ralph walked in the room, with Vanellope on his shoulder.

"How to murder pesky people who don't knock," Calhoun said, tenting her fingers in a menacing way.

"Hey, you guys mind if I take some leftovers home?" Ralph asked, looking longingly at the dinner table, which was not yet cleared off. "It's easier and tastes way better than my cooking."

"Go ahead, Ralph. Take all you want! We've got enough to last us for the rest of the season!" Felix said, looking over at all of the leftover food.

"Thanks, brother," Ralph said, opening up his beat up, tupperware box that was under his arm. As he started grabbing random bits of meat, he turned back to them, "So, did you guys have a good holiday?"

"Oh, yeah. Just swell," Felix said. "How about you, little lady?" Felix turned to Vanellope who was playing with someone's leftover mashed potatoes with a fork. "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?"

"Boy, I'll say," She placed her hand to her stomach. "I'm stuffed. I feel like I'm gonna vurp."

"Uh huh, and what are you thankful for?" Felix asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to her.

Vanellope put a hand to her chin and thought for a while, "Well, I'm thankful for a ton of stuff," she began counting on her fingers. "Racing, you guys, my palace, my subjects, but there's one thing I'm especially thankful for."

"Oh," Felix said. "And what's that?"

Vanellope smiled and cleared her throat, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

"Oh, mod," Calhoun groaned. She crossed her arms and sang. "So, get me out of here now."

**A/N: Thanks for reading, and I promise that the next few chapters will come out much quicker now that I'm on break! If you guys have an idea for the next few chapters, PM me and I'll gladly think it over. I might even use it! I'm very open to stuff, so don't be afraid! For all of you who are old readers of mine, thanks for sticking with me. And for the new readers, I welcome you with open arms!**


	2. Prep and Landing

**A/N: So glad you've come back for more! It's a pleasure having people liking my stuff. So now, without further ado, I give you, IBTLALLCGMOOHN Chapter 2! (Not as catchy as I would've liked...)**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Wreck-it Ralph. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll spend the next decade crying over that unfortunate detail.**

"Well, it's that time of year," Vanellope said, triumphantly, as she raced into Felix and Calhoun's living room. "That's right folks, December 11th, and you know what that means."

"People losing their cerebral cortexes so they can get people presents that they don't even want in the first place?" Calhoun said blatantly, not even looking up from her coffee and paper.

"Close, but no donut," Vanellope said. She stood up on the coffee table, "Bring out the in-laws, because Christmas is two weeks away!"

Vanellope began whooping around and cheering, expecting for Calhoun and Felix to do the same, but when she looked over, she saw them both very uninterested. She slumped down, "Come on, you two. Where's the celebrating? Where's the jumping around and cheering? Where in the name of Litwak is your holiday spirit?!"

Felix looked up from where his head was in his hands, "Sorry, little lady. It's just, folks around Niceland don't get that jazzed up for the holidays. And especially not when it's two, whole weeks away."

"Same with me and my troops," Calhoun still wasn't making eye contact with anything, except for Bowser's weekly column. "Whaddya think we are? Five years programed? Frankly, there are more important things to worry about."

Vanellope got slack-jawed and bug-eyed, "Something more important than Christmas? If you can think of something, I'd like to hear it!"

The Sergeant rolled her eyes, "How about the other, living code that I have inside of me?"

'Well, I guess," Vanellope sighed. "But come on, we have to do something to tis our season!"

"Well, what do you have in mind?" Felix asked. "Maybe, we can see if we can do something after all."

Well," Vanellope put her hand to her chin. "Ooo! Ever since I was just three years programed, I've always wanted to do some big, ol', family Christmas."

"Sorry, kiddo, but those things only happen in movies and TV," Calhoun said, finally putting down her paper. "If any _normal_ family was to have one of those, it would only be an hour before someone got shot in the head."

"But, Felix could fix it!" Vanellope smiled., pleadingly

"N-O spells no!" Calhoun barked, crossing her arms. "I don't like people living in my house. To tell you the truth, I don't even like Felix living here. Too much of a neat freak if you ask me."

"Tamm-y," Felix gave her a playful shove.

"Alright! Alright! Enough with the playful banter," Vanellope shrieked as she watched them tease each other more. They stopped poking and tickling at each other and Vanellope sighed, "Good. Now, how am I gonna get my family Christmas?"

"Vanellope, why would you even want one of those?" Calhoun asked, stretching out her legs. "It's just lots more cookin' and cleanin' for me and you, just so we can run some nonprofit, Christmas inn."

Vanellope crossed her arms, "Look, back when I was just a glitch, there was no such thing as Christmas for me. Now, I have a family, and even though it hasn't been for very long, you guys are really startin' to grow on me," Vanellope gave them a sympathetic look, "Honest." She sighed, "I just don't wanna miss out on you guys."

There was a long silence, before Calhoun began to open her mouth to say no again, but she glanced down to see her husband giving her the same pleading look as Vanellope. She groaned, "Oh, please, no. Not you too."

Felix smiled, "Tammy, maybe it's not such a bad idea. I mean, we almost never have the family over-"

"Yeah, there's a darn good reason too!" Calhoun exclaimed. "Your mother is insane!"

"Well, what if it wasn't just Golden Boy's mommy," Vanellope climbed up onto the arm of the chair. "What if, maybe, Ralph invited his family too. And yours too! Then, you'd have some kind of escape!"

"She has a point, Honey Bunches of Oats," Felix said, putting his hand over his wife's. "Ralph's mother is just peachy and I know how much you miss General Lockload."

"Well. . ." Calhoun groaned. "I don't know," She looked down at the two sets of pleading eyes staring sappily up at her, almost piercing through her soul and exclaimed, "Fine! Fine! Fine!" Felix and Vanellope had small, personal celebrations.

"Thanks, Sargie!" Vanellope whooped.

"I promise my mama will be as sweet as apple pie, Tammy," Felix smiled.

"Oh, yeah right," Calhoun grumbled. "She'll start doing that as soon as Ralph gets out of the shower."

* * *

Throughout the next week, Felix and Calhoun's penthouse was cleaned from top to bottom. Calhoun said after all of the primping and polishing was done, she could barely tell that it was her own home.

After all of the cleaning was done, all of the invitees were contacted. Ralph said his mother was delighted to come, and Calhoun informed everyone that Lockload was leaving on the first tram out of there. Felix said that his mother accepted right away and was coming as soon as she could come, much to Calhoun's dismay.

Finally, December 18th arrived and all of the guests were taking the trams over. Vanellope could barely sleep the night before, she had been so excited. Vanellope glitched around the tram station, "Holy, Hot Tamales, what's taking them so long?"

"Calm down, kid," Ralph said, shivering in the corner. Now he was really regretting not buying proper winter clothes. "The trams can only go so fast."

"Not fast enough!" Vanellope whined.

Suddenly, the tram bell rang out as the carts began pulling into the station. Vanellope raced right up the gates, determined to see the guests first.

Vanellope groaned, "Oh, come on. It's just Mama Fix-it. Man, why couldn't tell all take the tram together?"

"Relax, President Fartfeathers. Another tram'll be coming in a couple minutes." Ralph sighed, as he walked over to greet his friend's mother.

"Mama!" Felix smiled as he helped his mother out of the cart.

"Oh, my little, baby Moonpie. I've been missing ya so much since I left." Mrs. Fix-it turned to Calhoun. "And Tammy," She looked down at her stomach and gasped. "Tammy. Tammy. Tammy. You look as plump as a pig! I mean, I know you've got a young'un inside of you, but yeesh!"

Felix grabbed his mother's hands, before Calhoun could say something back, "Come on, Mama. Let's get all your stuff inside."

Mrs. Fix-it waved goodbye as Vanellope jumped up and shouted, "Everybody, shut up! Another tram is coming!" She squinted and groaned, "Are you kiddin' me? Another single?"

Mrs. Wreck-it hopped off the tram in one large leap. She was a large and wide woman with tumbling, auburn locks that barely went down to the bottom of her neck. She wore a beat-up, dark red, checkered dress, that was a bit tight on her and barely touched her ankles. Unlike her son, she had tight, black books covering her large feet.

Mrs. Wreck-it yanked up her Tallit and gave her son a bear hug, "Oh, my little babushka!" She released him from the hug, but still kept her hands on his shoulders. "Ugh, you know, these tram seats need to be stretched or cushioned or something, because my tootsies are as sore as a 30-year-old behind."

"Mom," Ralph whispered. "Stop talking about your butt!"

Vanellope laughed as Mrs. Wreck-it gave her son a rough shove, "What, Ralphie? You don't think everyone else has one?" She smiled down at Vanellope. "At least, sure hope they do."

"Mama Wreck-it!" Vanellope hopped up and wrapped her arms around her neck. "I've heard tons about ya. I just wanna say, you raised one heck of a son."

"Is this Vanellope?" Mrs. Wreck-it asked Ralph. He nodded and his mother returned her girl's embrace. "She's a real cutie. She's not an annoying little Boogerbrain like you said she was, Ralphie!"

Vanellope gasped and looked up at Ralph, "I am truly appalled, Baby Brahead."

Ralph's mother looked over to Calhoun and gasped with delight, "Oy, Ralphie. You never told me you met someone! She's so hoity toity!"

"What?" Calhoun stood up. "N-"

"Just look at this face!" Mrs. Wreck-it squished Calhoun's cheeks as she proudly showed off her thought-to-be daughter-in-law, to everyone else. Vanellope was just about dying of laughter. "Oh, and lookie here! There's even a bun in the oven!" Mrs. Wreck-it cheered as she gave Calhoun's baby bump a squeeze.

"Enougb!" Calhoun said, wrenching her face from Ralph's mother's monstrous hands. "I am not married to this," She gestured to Ralph as if he was a sack of dirty laundry. "I'm married to Fix-it Felix."

"Ohhhhh," Mrs. Wreck-it nodded as she turned to her son. "Is he the little sunspot that's always getting all the recognition?"

"Yep," Vanellope smiled. "He's the one!"

Ralph's mother turned to Calhoun, "Well, my Latka, I give ya many thanks for having me here, and don't you worry. I will keep you so well fed that that little bundle of joy will come out weighing 20 pounds!"

"You are gonna cook for me?" Calhoun said.

"Oh, Latka," Mrs. Wreck-it smiled. "Cook doesn't even begin to describe it."

Calhoun smiled at Ralph and whispered, "I like her already."

**A/N: Thanks for reading! A review from you would make me so very happy, a suggestion would be great and some constructive criticism could make the story better for everyone. A happy holiday to one and all!**


	3. Father Christmas

**A/N: So, obviously this story isn't finished before Christmas, but I'm extending the spirit of the season a little longer. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: You know what? I'm gonna buy Wreck-it Ralph! Do you think I can pay for it in hugs? No? Okay, then, I still don't own it.**

"Felix?" Calhoun dropped her keys into the bowl on the counter and walked slowly into her living room, trying to see if she could hear her husband.

"In here, Tammy," Felix called from the kitchen.

Calhoun smiled as she saw her husband washing the dirty plates in the sink, "Hey, Hot Stuff." She narrowed her eyes, "Where's your mother?"

Felix laughed, "Relax, honey. She just stopped in to put her suitcases away and went to go say hello to the Nicelanders."

Calhoun sighed and untensed, "Thank, the Mod. Now, I'm gonna get changed." She gave Felix a kiss on the nose and went upstairs.

For a while, Felix was just washing the plates and glasses in the sink, humming a little tune, when suddenly a bright, blaster beam shot through the lock on the door, causing it to fall to the floor. Felix yelped and curled up into a ball against the cabinets, terrified that someone had come to shoot him to death. He heard booming footsteps coming up behind him and he began shaking like a leaf in the wind. He curled up tighter, trying to protect himself as best he could, when he heard loud, boisterous laughter coming from behind him, "Ha! Hope I didn't scare ya too hard, Fix-it!"

Felix peeked through his fingers and saw a familiar face grinning out at him. He laughed unsteadily and he shakily stood up from the ground, "Oh, my land! General Lockload, you just about scared the britches off of me!"

Felix suddenly felt a hard slap to his back, sending his top half jolting forward, "How many times do I gotta tell ya, Civilian? We're family! You'll be calling me Rob from now on! Understood?"

Felix held his hands together in a tight ball, "Uh-heh heh. Yessir, uh, Rob."

General Lockload got a stern look on his face. He lifted up Felix to his height and growled, "Rob?! Who do ya think y'are!? Why I oughta. . ."

"Um, well- I-I-I'm sorry! I-" Felix began blathering, as he always did when he got extremely nervous.

Lockload let out another loud, roar of laughter, "You fall for it every time, Squirt!"

Felix laughed nervously again as the General set him back down. He could never really get warmed up to General Lockload. Felix knew he would never really hurt him, but he joked about it a heck of a lot and each time he did it, it sure gave Felix the willies. But, for Tammy's sake, he didn't say anything. Plus, he did always have his hammer, just to be safe.

"So, where's my Tammy? I haven't seen her in," He started to count on his fingers, but seemed to get stuck somewhere along the way. "A heck of a long time!"

"Oh, she's just upstairs changing. She'll be down in a pinch."

"Good. Good," Lockload knelt down to Felix's height. "Because, I wanna talk to you," He glared at the Handyman. "Now."

Felix took a step backward and gulped, "Wh-wh-what is it, Sir?"

He pointed a finger at Felix, "Rob?"

Felix nodded, "Rob."

Felix felt himself getting picked up by the scruff of his shirt, like he was a cat. Lockload moved him into the living room and sat down on the couch, still holding Felix up in the air. Lockload looked deep into Felix's eyes, not even blinking once. Felix was too terrified to even think.

There was a long time where it was just this; Lockload staring at Felix, as if thinking he could melt him with some sort of heat vision. Eventually, Felix cleared his throat, "Excuse me, Rob. Are you gonna keep looking at me like this for much longer, because I need to finish the dishes."

Lockload came in closer and said, "Are you treating her right?"

"W-who? Tammy?" Felix said, still getting stared at. "Of course. I would never do anything to hurt her. I love her!"

"You making her happy?"

"Well, I try to, Rob," Felix smiled a little. "I sure hope I do."

Lockload dropped him onto his lap, "That's all I needed to hear! I just wanna tell you one thing, young man." Felix looked up at him and Lockload smiled. "Keep doing what you're doing. I just want to see Tamora happy again. And that's an order."

Felix smiled and saluted him, "I'll do my best, Sir."

"This is no request," Rob narrowed his eyes. "It's an order."

Felix gulped, "Sir, all I want to do I make Tamora happy."

"That's all I want for her," Lockload shook his head. "She hasn't been happy a lot in her life."

"I know what happened, S-" Felix got a stern look from the General. "Rob. Her tragic backstory, I mean."

"Yeah, Brad's death was traumatic her. After it happened, she shut everyone out. She refused to let herself get close to anyone ever again, because she was worried she would lose them again. The Tamora I knew was gone," Lockload smiled. "But, I'm real glad she's found you. When I went to your wedding, I already felt like Tammy was back. And- and," Lockload chuckled. "Listen to me. Blathering on like a girl with her time of the month."

"I don't mind. It's fine," Felix smiled.

"The point is," Lockload drummed on his chin. "Did I have a point? Well, I guess if I did, then it would be, take care of Tamora, because now she's-"

"I'm what, Lockload?" Calhoun stood behind them wearing a black, trench coat.

Lockload stood up and grinned, "Tammykins!"

Calhoun rolled her eyes, "I told ya to stop calling me that."

Lockload put her in a headlock, "Just try and stop me!"

Calhoun put up her fists and sighed, "Eh, not worth it." She pushed herself out of his headlock and smoothed down her trench coat. She looked over at the blasted door, "I'm not even gonna ask."

Lockload smiled smugly, "I wanted a big entrance."

"Perhaps subtle is the way to go from here," Calhoun said. "So, what were you two chattin' about?"

Lockload shrugged, "Oh, pink dresses and tea parties; you know, guy stuff." He wrapped his arms around Calhoun, "I just am so glad to see you. I feel like nothing has changed since you shipped out here."

Calhoun chuckled and rubbed her arms, "Well, one thing has changed." She dropped her trench coat the ground, revealing her baby bump.

Lockload's eyes bulged out and his mouth opened, wide, "You-you, I mean, you're, uh, u-u-hh."

Calhoun smiled at Lockload's completely shocked face, "Is the word you're looking for pregnant?"

Lockload tried to make out something, but instead made a small, high-pitched noise. Eventually, he took a deep breath, looked down at Felix and calmly said, "What did you do to my Tammykins?"

Felix rubbed his arms nervously, "I-I-I-Well, I just- Do I really need to explain, Rob, because I really don't want to."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, before Lockload started laughing. It started off quietly, but grew into his normal, thundering laugh. He pulled Calhoun and Felix in for an embrace, "That was quite a trick! You two are quite the tricksters!"

Felix bit his lip, "Umm, Rob?"

Lockload wasn't paying attention though. He wiped a tear from his eye, "Oh, boy. And, she's got the stomach too! How'd you make it look so real?" He lifted up Calhoun's shirt, expecting to see a pillow or something of that nature, but instead saw Calhoun's actual stomach. He bent down to look at it, and gave it a slight poke. He gasped and jumped back, "Holy hotcakes!" He looked up at Calhoun, "So, you're telling me, _you're telling me_, that you are going to have a baby?"

Calhoun leaned closer to him and whispered, "Merry Christmas."

A/N: Reviews make me feel like I could sing a happy song! Have a super special day!


	4. Naughty and Naughtier

**A/N: Hey-o person who decided to read this! Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule just to read my words! You must really care :)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN WRECK-IT RALPH. GOD, WHEN WILL I HAVE TO STOP TYPING THIS AND FINALLY SAY "YES, I OWN THIS MOVIE. HA HA HA."**

Ralph lifted up Vanellope so that she could reach the space on the top of her shelves for her newest trophy. She smiled triumphantly as she placed it down, "I think my racing today was better than it ever was before. Don'tcha think so, Major Bodyodor?"

Ralph chuckled and put her down on the ground, "Yeah, you were great, my little booger stain of a friend."

"Many congratulations, Vanny!" Ralph's mother wrapped her large arms around the little racer and enveloped her into an enormous bear hug, "Oy, I haven't seen a kid moving around so fast since Ralphie was coming to show me that he went on the potty like a big boy!"

Vanellope laughed, "Once a Stinkbrain, always a Stinkbrain."

"Mom!" Ralph groaned. "Would you stop telling everyone about that?"

"What? I need to stop telling people how much I love my little, punchki?"

Ralph sighed, "Alright, come on. We've gotta get to Calhoun and Felix's place for dinner."

Vanellope groaned, "Aw, man. I wanna stay here and practice! Can we go later?"

"Nope," Ralph shook his head. "I'm starving and ready to get a free meal. Plus, Calhoun says her dad has been dying to meet you."

Vanellope crossed her arms and scowled, "Curse my adorable personality. It just forces me to be more social."

* * *

"Tammy, did I ever tell you that you have a lovely home?" Mrs. Fix-it said, picking up a small knick-knack from the server and observed it.

Calhoun shook her head, "Can't say that you have."

"Well, you do! I'm surprised that you can keep it so clean, dearie!" She smiled. She ran her finger down the side of the wall and gave a small frown. "Granted there is a bit too much dust here and there and the kitchen is less than desired, but I suppose it's the thought that counts, isn't it?"

Calhoun nodded and started edging towards the door, "Excuse me, I have somewhere else I probably need to be. You just stay there and find more faults."

Mrs. Fix-it didn't really catch on to Calhoun's annoyance, so she just kept looking at the photos hanging on the walls, "Okie dokie, Honeypie!"

Calhoun slipped into the kitchen, where Felix was busy over the stove, "Need any assistance in here?"

Felix glanced over his shoulder briefly, before returning his gaze to his simmering pot of noodles, "Not at the moment, dear."

"Okay then, I'll just sit here and look pretty, like I always do."

Felix smiled, "You are mighty good at that." He gave his pan a small rotation, letting the butter slide across the surface. "Do you remember when Ralph and Vanellope said they were coming?"

"Yeah, twenty minutes ago." Calhoun sighed. They were always late. "Lockload'll be here soon."

"Where did he go?"

"Oh, out training, probably. Since he's from another unit, he can come and practice at the shooting range here. He's never too busy to burn through a few cartridges." She gave a chuckle, "Like father, like daughter."

"Hey, I smelled the grub all the way down the street!" Ralph's mother stuck her head through the door, before squeezing through. "When're we gonna start noshing?"

"Oh, I'd say about twenty minutes, give or take," Felix shrugged, trying to scoop out his noodles, while also keeping his eye on the Frittata, cooking over a low flame.

Mrs. Wreck-it sat down and fanned herself with her tallit, "Oy vey, Ralphie. I sware, squeezing into that tram gets harder every time."

"Yeah, well they don't make tram seats big enough for our big tuches." Ralph sighed. Calhoun gave him a strange look, she had never heard him speak that way before. She decided that his mother must've gotten the Yiddish back into his system.

"Was that Yiddish I heard?" Mrs. Fix-it came into the kitchen with arms crossed. "And on Sunday, which is supposed to be a day reserved for the Lord!"

"Oy yay yay," Mrs. Wreck-it put her hand over her head. "Not you. The Alter Kaker herself."

Mrs. Fix-it put her hands over her ears, "Enough! Enough! No more of that unholy talk!"

Calhoun gasped and turned to Ralph, "Your mother annoys Felix's?"

"Er," Ralph rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Vanellope seemed almost entranced by the two, grown women fighting in the crowded kitchen, "What are they even fightin' about?

Ralph sucked in his cheeks, "Felix's mom doesn't like the Jewish, and my mom doesn't like Christians. My mom is a hasidic Jew and she's a devout Christian."

Calhoun smiled as she watched Ralph's mother bump into Felix's on purpose, as she went into the dining room and whispered to Ralph, "Wreck-it, I think I like your mom even _more_ now!"

"Hmph! The nerve." Mrs. Fix-it brushed off her skirt and started walking out. "Well, I'm off to set the table! Toodle-oo!"

"Hey, daddy's home!" Calhoun shook her head and smiled as she heard Lockload proclaim this from outside. She cried out with laughter and she felt him wrap his big, meaty arm around her and pull her back from behind, lifting her a few feet off the ground. "Didja miss me, _Princess_?"

"Alright, enough!" Calhoun pushed his arm off of her. "Don't try and get the baby into headlock before its even born."

"Ralphie, is this the guy who wanted to meet me, because I wanna get it over with." Vanellope feigned starvation as she collapsed from Ralph's shoulder, onto his hand. "I'm starved!"

"Oh, my goodness. Is this who I think it is?" Lockload crossed his arms, "Is this the famous Vanellope Von Schweetz?"

Vanellope bolted upright and gave the General a small, President-like bow, "In person!"

Lockload picked her up by the hood, "Well, just look at this! If you aren't the cutest thing I ever did see, then let the cy-bugs come at me until I'm nothin' but a pile of dust!"

"Umm," Vanellope sucked in her cheeks. "Thank you, Mr. Scary-Drill-Sergeant-Guy?"

Lockload laughed and released the child as she raced after Ralph into the dining room, "Oh, boy, Tammy. She reminds me a heck of a lot like you when you were a tyke."

"Lockload," Calhoun groaned. "If you're trying to scare me, that did it."

"Felix, sweetie, where do you keep your good china? Oh!" Mrs. Fix-it gasped as she saw Lockload. She smiled, "Who's this now?"

Calhoun was about to introduce him when Lockload stepped forward and bent down to Mrs. Fix-it's level, "General Lockload, at your service."

"Oh, my my!" She giggled as he gave her hand a small kiss. "You certainly are a gentlemen!"

"Okay, I take it back. Now, this is _really_ scary," Calhoun said, biting her lip. Lockload hardly ever kissed anyone, besides herself and maybe some form of a fleeting girlfriend. And the way he looked at her brought shivers to her spine.

"This is Mrs. Fix-it. She's Felix's mother." Calhoun said through grated teeth. "As in related to you!"

"Mrs.?" Lockload said, unaffected by what Calhoun just said.

Mrs. Fix-it put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment, "Oh, well I suppose it's just Miss Fix-it! But, if you'd like, you can call me Rose."

"Alright," Lockload coyly grinned as he bent down and whispered into her ear, "As long as you call me _Rob_."

Felix placed his hands on his cheeks, not even noticing that the Frittata was slightly burning and slowly whispered, "Oh, my land."

**A/N: Okay, so I know it's a month after Christmas and I'm still writing a Christmas story, but I'm still doing it! I don't know why, but I am! Reviews make me happy and suggestions would really help!**


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